I Threw Myself A Welcome Back Party!

BLOGGING, or should I say WRITING?!?! When I first started my blog back in 2009, I was going through the death of my late husband and I believed God put it on my heart to write and express my emotions about certain things through Blogger. It had to be God because I never was the type to get excited about writing(I had/have issues!!) and here I am... BACK to writing/blogging. A lot has changed given the fact, I grew up! No longer that baggage little girl that had emotional problems. Yes I said it, EMOTIONAL PROBLEMS slash ISSUES for my fellas who think all women have emotional issues. Well this chick did which I will share here and there through my future blogs. What to look for....hmmm my opinion about relationships, my opinion about politics, my opinion about parenting, my opinion about independence, and facts about God with a little of my opinion about who He is to me. Lets face it, my blogging will be mostly about my opinions and I value feedback. I like interactions not confrontations so feel free to jump on board :-)

Missing you

Missing you like crazy is not even fair,
You went away too soon, but I can't even compare,
To the spot you won in heaven, you won your golden prize.
No more hurt, pain, or aches you left a world that is full of lies.
If I could have that one last talk with you, I will tell you I love you.
I use to ask God why.
Why did you have to be the one to go?
But I remember God saying He was going to use you.
Still this day I don’t understand, but He let me know you are in good hands.
I was full of tears and filling like there was no place to hide.
All because you went away and I didn’t get a chance to tell you goodbye.
Your son is getting bigger, looking just like you.
I ask him wear his daddy at and he tells me in Heaven with God.
He don't know the full circumstances, but he is starting to think it's odd.
I know if you were still here you would be so proud.
To see you baby boy grow up and to hear how his voice sound.
How long will this last, I don't know,
But I think I will forever be missing you in this world so cold.

Inside feelings

Have you ever had this feeling where you are so self-motivated to jump in your career, and you are so driven to making it that you do not know what to do? Have you ever got to the point that you want to scream because you can visualize your dream for the future but it seems so far away? Seem like your dream career is around the corner, but it's like a wall blocking you and your dream from meeting. Like you the only one that feels the motivation, and you think people around you feel the same way because the feelings is so high, but then others tell you, " You have imaginations like a child", but you push pass what people have to say.

^This is my feelings right now. I am so self-motivated that I am not slowing down or slacking off no more. I did it for years. I am not where I want to be at in life right now. I have some setbacks, down falls, and discouragement, but no longer will I let them feelings way down on me any longer. I have this burning fire in me right now that I can see my dream. God said just have faith as a mustard seed and my faith is bigger than a mustard seed. I feel myself getting back in that mind frame where, I GOT TO MAKE IT. No ifs, ands, and buts, but JUST DO IT. I want so much for me and my child that I can not let my past bring me down. Everything I went through can not bring me down, but make me stronger. I will succeed and God said,"If I be for you, who in the world can be against you". And I am walking on what God said. He will bring me out. God is my rock, who shall I be afraid of. Whats for me, it is for me, and no one can take it away or stop it but God. When I was down and out He was there. God said he will never leave me or nor forsake me and I believe him. I love the Lord, he heard my cries so that's why I would never stop loving him.

Be Encourage

When everything seem so far, and the next step bring fear,
Know that your future is very near.
You may have your worries and you may have your doubts,
But lean unto God, for he shall bring you out.
With all your might,
Take comfort with verry little sight.
Count on your self,
Because when it's said and done,
You the only one left.
Take joy for today,
And Caution for tomorrow,
Be careful for the next day,
Don't let it bring you sorrow.
Have confidence on what you do,
And account for what you say,
Be aware not to offend that person,
Standing in your face.
Be encourage and keep stepping,
Let go of your fears,
And release them hard long tears.
Know that everything will be alright,
But know this one thing,
You not gonna get to your dream without a fight.

?STYLE?

What makes a person? What makes you, who you are? Is it your skin completion or is it the way you style your hair? Some woman feels putting on make-up make a person beautiful. I like make-up, but it do not defines me as a beautiful woman. Make-up only adds to my beauty. Just like putting on some fancy earrings, wearing my hair a certain way enlarges my beauty. The outfit I pick out to wear with the heels to match only enlighten my personality and create my style. I love how big and brown my eyes is and how long my eyes lashes curls. I love my skin completion as the way it is; dark brown and smooth. I love my size standing 5'2 weighing 130 with a pug in my stomach. All my features I listed is what makes me who I am, beautiful. Make-up, jewelry, clothes, and shoes adds to my beauty. So the question still stands, What make you, who you are?

Single Parents

A lot of us like to complain abut being a single parent. Everyone is to blame for raising a child or children by yourself, and we do not move forward and take on the responsibility of being a single parent. Like who walks around saying, "I want to raise a child by myself", really who says that. Like me and everybody else, I did not ask to be a single mom at the age of 23. I had a Husband who loved his child, who loved being a daddy, but that gift; opportunity was taking away Jan. 1, 2009, 3 hours into the New Years, he was killed. I didn't ask to live the life of a single parent and my 2 year old son didn't ask to be fatherless. So, what I had to do was put my complaints and feelings aside and take care my son. Oh, and lets not talk about my son father's side of the family; they don't even bother to stay in touch. Through the 7 months with the death of my late husband I learn to put away my wants and think about me and my child needs. I work hard everyday to be the mother and father which is not easy. I wiped the tears away and stop complaining about being a single parent. I I can do it why are there are still people complaining and not being both parents. At the end of the day you are still a single parent until God send your other half your way.